I have sometimes confused the term humility with unworthiness. We have been battling our addiction for so long, our efforts seemingly to no avail, that we think less of ourselves than we really are: sons and daughters of God.
It is good to walk through the doors of our first meeting feeling that we are powerless; because we are. But that is only Step One. As we move forward in the program, a transformation begins and the words “What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common,” resonates in my heart.
I remember a young man I will call Jordan (not his real name). When Jordan first came to our group the words of a song came to mind, “But who am I, just a wandering kid, a cipher on the wall, not even brave at all.”
Jordan was not only struggling with daily masturbation and pornography addiction but also with learning challenges. He seemed so down trodden. His clothes where too big and not very clean and I noticed how his shoes were not only old and torn but were at least three sizes too big. I’m not sure how he managed to even walk in those shoes.
Jordan started coming to our meetings, got himself a sponsor and though he struggled at first, he eventually got his first 30 day chip to our supportive applause. Little by little, day by day, Jordan changed. Not just in his behavior but in his countenance. He eventually received what seemed impossible at one time, a one year chip.
He changed jobs, he looked better and eventually this young man met someone who loved him and they got married. I will never forget Jordan, the miracle of change seemed to be more visible in this young man on the inside and the outside.
“What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common.”
God can and will cleanse you and me and Jordan. He will transform you, he will change you and while those changes may seem imperceptible at times, they are the changes that produce the roots, the foundation, even the firm foundation that changes, that transforms the withered tree into a blossoming wind and storm resistant one.